Shhhh! Arsenal Are Crap And We All Know It
Arsenal Is Over-Rated
I’m assuming that anyone reading my blog is aware of my good friend @PoznanInMyPants and this blog from January about why Jack is also overrated but if not please familiarise yourself with it before judging this post.
There are a proportion of Arsenal fans who will have you believe that this could be Arsenal’s year and that years of hurt and selling our best players has seen a simultaneous, albeit quiet, period of building a title-challenging team. These people are wrong and deluded and must be stopped. They will attempt to spread vicious lies like “Look at the players Arsenal have injured. They are going to be even better when we have a fully fit squad”.
Some will try to say that Manchester United are already too far off the pace but those people are idiots. Manchester United have superstar assist makers like Cleverley and Fellaini, all we have is second-rate wannabe pretenders like Cazorla and Özil.
Defensively Arsenal are very poor. Some people are trying to fool you by saying Arsenal had the second best defence in the league last season but what they don’t tell you is that they are really talking about the ladies team.
Everyone knows that Arsenal needed a defensive midfielder this summer and all they ended up with was this Italian dude called Flamini from AC Milan who has no experience of the Premier League and spent most of his career playing at left-back and playing badly. He doesn’t know anything about marshalling the players around him, making important tackles, pressing the opponents or protecting the back four.
If you want to know anything about Arsenal’s qualities all you need to do is look at Ramsey and Giroud. Two of the worst players in the Premier League last season and they are currently the best of a bad bunch. It says it all about how shit Arsenal are that Ramsey is our best player and Giroud not far behind. Neither could score in brothel with a hand full of fifties and Ramsey’s passing is shocking.
At best Arsenal are a Europa League team and would be lucky to finish within 15 points of real title contenders like Liverpool or Tottenham who sold their worst player and replaced him in the squad with £107m worth of top class talent that makes our purchase of Özil look like a tin of Lidl beans from the whoops shelf.
Don’t be fooled. Arsenal have an awful squad full of awful players who can’t win a game when they are playing well let alone when they are playing poorly. Arsenal have no chance of winning the title so it’s best not to get your hopes up.
Don’t by into the media hype, or do if they are writing us off, and don’t go around on Twitter, Facebook or any public place and wax lyrical about Arsenal. If you need to do that make sure you are in a safe place, away from prying ears and eyes and then only whisper it very quietly to a friend you know shares your sentiment so they can nod solemnly in agreement and leave it at that.
Arsenal don’t want to be taken seriously as title contenders and we certainly don’t want the opposition to think we might be hard to play against and they need to step it up. Most of all, we don’t want real title contenders like Liverpool, Spurs, Chelsea, City or United to take dropping a few points seriously because they know we’re too poor to capitalise on it.
So when Arsenal have an okay game, please say we were shit. When we have a great game say “meh” or “I’ve seen better”.
When Ramsey scores say it was a fluke and he should be playing in the Championship. Say Giroud is crap and should turn to modelling as he’d be better at that than scoring goals. Remind everyone that Özil is an overrated Madrid reject who wishes he was as good as Danny Rose let alone Eriksen. Write blogs about how Cazorla has no control, no ability and no fucking clue. Tweet about how shit Mertesacker and Koscielny are and how Gibbs is like Danny DeVito in Twins, the reject DNA from the Schwarzenegger-eqsue specimen that is Kyle Walker.
And if you hear anyone else saying anything different, join Poznan and I in saying “Shhhh!”
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