Football jokes, mainly at the expense of Spurs.

• The innocent children of Africa, their childhoods stolen, ripped from the arms of their crying parents. Soon unable to defend themselves they must learn to shoot, whilst a baying mob of savages cheer them on. Most will never learn to read or write, there are no medals for these brave lost causes, no victory, no respite. We must make the world aware, we must not turn our back….ARSENE WENGER 2012.
• My new boss tried to play a prank on me because I’m Arsenal and he is Spurs. He sent me to the shops for tartan paint and a ‘Long Weight’. I came back and said they didn’t have any tartan paint but they did give me this for a long weight as I handed him a “Spurs – League Champions” shirt.
• Going to McDonald’s for a salad? That makes about as much sense as going to White Hart Lane to see a league trophy
• My wife says there is nothing more painful than childbirth. Clearly she’s never watched a Spurs fan try to convince other people that they support a big club
• Moses parted the Red Sea, Jesus turned water into wine, Spurs turned one double into 50 years of being a ‘big club’… Now that’s impressive
• Your mum’s so old, she remembers when X Factor was just Roman sunscreen. Well your mum’s so old she remembers when Spurs last won the league