Blame Ramsey – Everything Is His Fault After All

By Daniel Cowan
In Arsenal
Nov 29th, 2012
27 Comments

Have you had an accident in the past year? Been missold PPI? Been refused credit? Passed a difficult stool? Been rained on or generally had a shit day?

Then you are probably entitled to compensation. New legislation has made it possible for individuals to sue Aaron Ramsey for pretty much all the crap in their lives.

BlameRamseyLawyers4U specialise in claims against Aaron Ramsey for the things in your life that are just plain shit. Call us today for a no-win-no-fee consultation on 0845 16 15 5H17 or email us on claim@blameramseylawyers4u.com.

Cases of Blame Ramsey are at an all time high and now is the time to jump on the compensation bandwagon.

Scientific studies have found a direct link between the existence of Aaron Ramsey and the reason any given person’s life is so shit.

Dr. Taykdatprikov from the School of Hopelessly Imbecilic Theories recently said this:

Aaron Ramsey is an embodiment of negative energy. The film Ghostbusters II was loosely based on Aaron in a quasi-prophetic sort of way. That pink goo that made anyone who touched it angry and violent was a manifestation of negative energy and is representative of Ramsey today. Ramsey is the pink goo but worse. You don’t have to touch Ramsey for bad shit to happen, you just have to think about him, a bit like the first Ghostbusters when Gozer sends the Destructor. Is it coincidence that Ghostbusters was directed by Ivan Reitman and Arsenal have their very own Ivan? Is Ramsey the destructor? Is Wenger Gozer? Is Kronke Vigo the Carpathian? Coincidence? I think
not.

Basically, Ramsey is pink goo and the direct reason for all the shit things that happen in life.

Aaron on his day off going to a Navy themed fancy-dress party

Silent Stan?

Professor Votavasteospace from the College of Remove Arsène Predilection added this:

There is no concrete proof that the shittiness of life increases or decreases based on the time Ramsey spends on the pitch as all shit is clearly his fault but we’re pretty certain that if he played for a championship team that everything in life would improve significantly.

However Ramsey should not be blamed entirely. It is common knowledge that his powers would be stripped if he were to move to another club so we did some research into the root of his powers and we were not surprised by the result. We found that Arsène Wenger is the root of this evil power. Wenger is like Sauron and this Blame Ramsey phenomena is like the effects of the One Ring. Men are corrupted by the One Ring so even if we remove Ramsey from the clutches of Sauron Wenger someone else will fall ill to the will of the One Ring. Ramsey is now like a gangrenous limb and cannot be saved so must be severed but we must also ensure the reign of Sauron is ended otherwise another will fall under the spell of the One Ring.

The only player Arsenal have that can resist the powers of Sauron and the Ring is Cazorla and that’s only because he’s a hobbit.

Frodo Cazorla of the Shire

Sauron Wenger

Based on this compelling evidence the government have created legislature to ensure that the population is fairly compensated for exposure to Ramsey and are working closely with the international community to make sure that the threat is contained and does not become a pandemic.

So if you’re feeling shit or feel that your life has some shit in it then you need to make a claim with us, BlameRamseyLaywers4U.

No claim is too small. Stubbed your toe? Blame Ramsey and make a claim today. Put too much milk in your tea? Blame Ramsey and make the bastard pay.

We have over 2 years experience of Blaming Ramsey and are yet to lose a claim that we couldn’t pin on Aaron.

Don’t delay. Trust the number 1 name in Blaming Ramsey. BlameRamseyLawyers4U. Specialists in blaming Ramsey since 2010.

Still not sure you can make a claim? Here are some of our testimonials:

I was watching the football when Aaron Ramsey mislaid a pass and I let out an odd sound like an orgasming cat. I was extremely embarrassed and my friends teased me for weeks. I got in touch with BlameRamseyLawyers4U and they helped me win my case. I can’t return the shame I felt but I’m much happier knowing justice has been done and am coming to terms with my friends singing “Hey diddle diddle, the cat got a fiddle” and calling me the Kitty Fiddler every time they see me.

Steve, 34, North London

I saw a picture of Ramsey in the paper and my dog of 22 years died. BlameRamseyLawyers4U took on my case and Aaron had to buy me a new dog.

Sandra, 58, Medway

On my way to Dragon’s Den to present my idea for a range of “Edible Cutlery” someone on the bus sneezed on me. I was so worried about getting ill and not being able to present my pitch properly that I forgot some key figures and did not get the investment that I needed. This was clearly Ramsey’s fault and BlameRamseyLawyers4U helped me sue Ramsey for the lost investment. You can expect to see “It’s Forking Eddyble” in shops soon.

Edward, 29, Birmingham

We’ve helped thousands of people get the compensation they deserve and we can help you.

Remember, where there’s a blame there’s a claim and it’s probably Ramsey’s fault.

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About "" - 213 Posts

South London Gooner born and bred now living in Bristol. Trainer enthusiast and aspiring author.

27 Responses to “Blame Ramsey – Everything Is His Fault After All”

  1. gooner-girl says:

    He made a great assist for Theo and as a previous Ramsey-blamed I am happy to see it and to admit it. Maybe the guy is finally turning a cover in his rehabilitation. Hope so.

  2. Scott says:

    The author must have read a post on Facebook i did yesterday.
    I did a list of things we should blame Ramsey for as well lol.

  3. Scott says:

    Sorry,i didn’t mean to suggest you copied it…just a coincidence!

    • Daniel Cowan says:

      That’s cool mate. Very rare to have an original thought these days. I was tweeting loads of #BlameRamsey stuff last night too

  4. samuel says:

    i dnt knw y wenger keeps playing ramsey…wen wilshere came bak and dere ws no place in d midfield for him,he started playing him on d wings wen there are a whole lot of wingers on d bench…i wuldnt b surprised if he starts playing him as a striker… Ramsey is a badluck in d team…he shuld only b used we we are leading with 3 or more goals ahead

  5. SourSpud says:

    First comment is facepalm inducing.

  6. SourSpud says:

    *comment by “samuel” that is

  7. dixon says:

    very useless Ramsey,IS the one dat cause dat goal bcoz d pass he gave 2 C.S Waz very useless pass he put him on pressure,Ramsey always cause us a game.i dnt knw why wenger keep on playin him.

  8. wenkev02 says:

    98percent of fans will see your RANT lol for what it is 2percent will agree and put a claim in….2persent of the arsenal fans are complete nobs……cheers bob.

  9. Omglol says:

    Wahahahahahahah……….*now back to cry about our season until next game :(*

  10. rbnlaw says:

    Anyone who can work in a Ghostbusters II reference has my admiration. Well done.

    Personally, I blame Arshavin. Mainly because he’s short.

  11. Brondt says:

    Long time reader, first time to comment:

    This post about says it all. Every single ill in our Arsenal supposedly stems from Ramsey. I don’t think it can be argued that he has struggled a lot since his injury, but he does take an unfair amount of stick. He can be selfish, yes; he misplaces passes, yes. But aside from the fact that he doesn’t pick himself–and certainly he doesn’t pick himself in a position that is not his natural one–he is frequently one of only a handful of players visibly trying to make things happen for us.

    This causes problems sometimes as perhaps he tries too hard, leaving gaps behind him or trying to force a situation that isn’t there to be forced leading to a turnover of possession (but few castigated Cesc for the same thing, and few do so now that Cazorla has taken over creative duties). Additionally, if Ramsey’s finishing would only improve, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation, as the boy would be among our top scorers this season, easily.

    But yesterday’s goal illustrates the desire of some to find an easy scapegoat: I’ve seen Ramsey blamed all over the blogosphere today for Fellaini’s goal. I thought my memory must be wrong, so I went and watched the highlights, the build up, and clearly the immediate cause was Sagna’s horrid pass to Arteta. Sure, Ramsey gave the ball away upfield, which led to a through-ball collected by Szscesny. But the keeper handled it easily and passed out to an unmarked Sagna. It was our right back (who seems to make one or two of these sort of passes every game) who played the ball across the top of our box to a pressured Arteta.

    Ultimately, that goal shows that so much comes down to the team’s lack of quality, drive, gumption–whatever you want to call it. Szscesny should have saved that shot. Vermaelen turned his back on Fellaini instead of closing him down. Sagna misplaced the pass. And Ramsey lost it up field to begin with.

  12. Joeos says:

    Would your firm have the capacity to take on a class action claim for the vacuous We Want Our Arsenal Back brigade?

  13. levonson says:

    this isnt a scam…i blamed aaron after he broke through and dinked the keeper in Messi-esque style against olympiakos as it scuppered my correct score accumulator…i wrote to blameramsey and the bookies agreed to pay out…happing blaming everyone!

  14. HaHaHerbert says:

    My squeeze got pregnant two years ago so it was either Ramsey or John Terry…probably both since she’s from Sussex and you know them chicks!!!

  15. george says:

    wenger will always find a place fo ramsey, i think its wengers way of fixing the fans he will try to subortage a good first XI by putting in a rotten egg like ramsey or worse still andre santos.

    • Joeos says:

      Such analytical and tactical prowess. You should send your cv to the club to give them the opportunity to replace Wenger with yourself.

  16. Sav from Australia says:

    Massive LOL. Additional Rofl for Cazorla as a Hobbit.

  17. walter says:

    Very funny but alas for many oh so true….

  18. [...] blog – a taake on ‘Injury lawyers 4 U’ focusing on the unfair proportion of blame attributed to Aaron Ramsey, is a classic example of his great humour, and his thoughts on Sagna and Theo recently also show [...]

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