Blame Ramsey – Everything Is His Fault After All
Have you had an accident in the past year? Been missold PPI? Been refused credit? Passed a difficult stool? Been rained on or generally had a shit day?
Then you are probably entitled to compensation. New legislation has made it possible for individuals to sue Aaron Ramsey for pretty much all the crap in their lives.
BlameRamseyLawyers4U specialise in claims against Aaron Ramsey for the things in your life that are just plain shit. Call us today for a no-win-no-fee consultation on 0845 16 15 5H17 or email us on firstname.lastname@example.org.
Cases of Blame Ramsey are at an all time high and now is the time to jump on the compensation bandwagon.
Scientific studies have found a direct link between the existence of Aaron Ramsey and the reason any given person’s life is so shit.
Dr. Taykdatprikov from the School of Hopelessly Imbecilic Theories recently said this:
Aaron Ramsey is an embodiment of negative energy. The film Ghostbusters II was loosely based on Aaron in a quasi-prophetic sort of way. That pink goo that made anyone who touched it angry and violent was a manifestation of negative energy and is representative of Ramsey today. Ramsey is the pink goo but worse. You don’t have to touch Ramsey for bad shit to happen, you just have to think about him, a bit like the first Ghostbusters when Gozer sends the Destructor. Is it coincidence that Ghostbusters was directed by Ivan Reitman and Arsenal have their very own Ivan? Is Ramsey the destructor? Is Wenger Gozer? Is Kronke Vigo the Carpathian? Coincidence? I think
Basically, Ramsey is pink goo and the direct reason for all the shit things that happen in life.
Professor Votavasteospace from the College of Remove Arsène Predilection added this:
There is no concrete proof that the shittiness of life increases or decreases based on the time Ramsey spends on the pitch as all shit is clearly his fault but we’re pretty certain that if he played for a championship team that everything in life would improve significantly.
However Ramsey should not be blamed entirely. It is common knowledge that his powers would be stripped if he were to move to another club so we did some research into the root of his powers and we were not surprised by the result. We found that Arsène Wenger is the root of this evil power. Wenger is like Sauron and this Blame Ramsey phenomena is like the effects of the One Ring. Men are corrupted by the One Ring so even if we remove Ramsey from the clutches of Sauron Wenger someone else will fall ill to the will of the One Ring. Ramsey is now like a gangrenous limb and cannot be saved so must be severed but we must also ensure the reign of Sauron is ended otherwise another will fall under the spell of the One Ring.
The only player Arsenal have that can resist the powers of Sauron and the Ring is Cazorla and that’s only because he’s a hobbit.
Based on this compelling evidence the government have created legislature to ensure that the population is fairly compensated for exposure to Ramsey and are working closely with the international community to make sure that the threat is contained and does not become a pandemic.
So if you’re feeling shit or feel that your life has some shit in it then you need to make a claim with us, BlameRamseyLaywers4U.
No claim is too small. Stubbed your toe? Blame Ramsey and make a claim today. Put too much milk in your tea? Blame Ramsey and make the bastard pay.
We have over 2 years experience of Blaming Ramsey and are yet to lose a claim that we couldn’t pin on Aaron.
Don’t delay. Trust the number 1 name in Blaming Ramsey. BlameRamseyLawyers4U. Specialists in blaming Ramsey since 2010.
Still not sure you can make a claim? Here are some of our testimonials:
I was watching the football when Aaron Ramsey mislaid a pass and I let out an odd sound like an orgasming cat. I was extremely embarrassed and my friends teased me for weeks. I got in touch with BlameRamseyLawyers4U and they helped me win my case. I can’t return the shame I felt but I’m much happier knowing justice has been done and am coming to terms with my friends singing “Hey diddle diddle, the cat got a fiddle” and calling me the Kitty Fiddler every time they see me.
Steve, 34, North London
I saw a picture of Ramsey in the paper and my dog of 22 years died. BlameRamseyLawyers4U took on my case and Aaron had to buy me a new dog.
Sandra, 58, Medway
On my way to Dragon’s Den to present my idea for a range of “Edible Cutlery” someone on the bus sneezed on me. I was so worried about getting ill and not being able to present my pitch properly that I forgot some key figures and did not get the investment that I needed. This was clearly Ramsey’s fault and BlameRamseyLawyers4U helped me sue Ramsey for the lost investment. You can expect to see “It’s Forking Eddyble” in shops soon.
Edward, 29, Birmingham
We’ve helped thousands of people get the compensation they deserve and we can help you.
Remember, where there’s a blame there’s a claim and it’s probably Ramsey’s fault.
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