The great managerial debate: Marvel or Star Wars?

Chatting with fellow Gooners recently – possibly influenced by the whiff of nearby alcohol – we found ourselves reflecting on who the next manager might be. Now let me say from the outset, this is not an anti-Wenger rant. If I admit that the conversation was a little bit freefall, that there was some long-term blue-sky thinking going on and that strict adherence to normal standards of logical argument was not being applied you might get the picture. This was a VERY general and possibly even slightly fanciful discussion of what might happen in the year 1PW (Post Wenger).

Anyway, under these most unusual circumstances, and once we had convinced one of our party to put down his phone and to leave SuperCasino alone for a minute,  a motion was put up for debate. It was this: would Arsenal be better if the club was run by Marvel Comics or George Lucas?

The key arguments went something like this – seemingly no-one involved was taking notes and some recollections are strangely vague. However, the influence of Mr SuperCasino was formally acknowledged.

On the one hand there was agreement that Marvel would toughen us up at the back. However, it was also pointed out that this would require a wholesale rebuilding of the squad. Bringing in X-men (presumably from Manchester City), Iron Man, Captain America and the Fantastic Four (to play at the back, obviously) would undoubtedly make for a versatile squad, consistent with the fans expectations for pace, grace and one or two fireworks. However, the downside to this wholesale recruitment policy was felt to be run the risk of undoing much of the extraordinary legacy of the previous regime. In other words, it was felt that having The Incredible Hulk around was likely to lay waste to the Emirates faster than you could say “oops”.

Those in favour of the Lucas proposition pointed out that a New Hope was precisely what we needed, that The Emirates Strikes Back was too good a title to overlook and that Lucas himself had a proven track record with big budgets and difficult personalities. It was also forcibly stressed that he had always, always been a phenomenal crowd pleaser.

These were, it was agreed very admirable credentials, as was the film-maestro’s willingness to actually spend money, and – as the sequence of his film-work implies – his readiness to build from the back. It was only after a prolonged pause for consideration – and a return to SuperCasino by the sober member of the party – that a fatal problem with Lucas’s candidature was brought to light.

Clones. It is fair to say that we have tried an attack of the clones over the years, and whilst it has been at times an enjoyable ride, his has not always delivered everything that we might have hoped for.

Inevitably, the debate reached a rather messy conclusion. Whilst one or two of those present were happy to declare their tremendous affection for the current manager (as well as each other) no resolution could be established. There was a mumbled suggestion that a marriage of an attack of the clones backed up by the Fantastic Four might be a workable compromise, but by that time the talk had turned more towards whether the dependable certainty of a chicken Rogan Josh would be a better acquisition than the undeniably more exciting but potentially unpredictable quality of a prawn vindaloo.

Arsene Wenger is the manager of Arsenal Football Club.