Goals? Assists? What Has Giroud Ever Done For Arsenal?

By Daniel Cowan
In Arsenal
Apr 20th, 2013

That was close! Arsenal didn’t play particularly well despite having a numerical advantage and passing the ball reasonably well in the second-half but they managed to hold out for a 1-0 win and crucially, three more points on the tally.

It wasn’t a particularly enjoyable match to watch and it was ruined by two quite unnecessary red cards. I didn’t think Sidwell’s challenge was a straight red and I certainly didn’t think Giroud’s was either but both were, according to the laws of the game, justifiable red cards so I cannot complain about the referee who I felt had a decent game.

Will he be missed?

Will he be missed?

The immediate aftermath of the game however was disgusting. The comments on twitter and general glee from some supporters at Giroud’s 3 match ban was disgraceful. He may split opinions and some may feel that he isn’t the quality we need but to actually celebrate his dismissal was frankly anti-Arsenal.

Some comments, as such comments usually are, were littered with grammatical errors and profanities describing what a waste of space Giroud is and questioning what he has brought to the team if anything at all. Immediately a Monty Python sketch popped into my head and an hour later here is a fully-formed blog. I hope you enjoy.

FRANCIS: We’re getting in through the underground system here, up through into the main champion’s league spots here, and third place is here. Having grabbed third place, we inform Spuds and Chelsea that third is in our custody and forthwith issue our demands. Any questions?

COMMANDO XERXES: What exactly are the demands?

REG: We’re giving Spuds two games in hand to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Oil Imperialist States of Mancheznia and Chelsistan, and if they can’t, we execute the chicken on St Totteringham’s day.

MATTHIAS: Cut its head off?

FRANCIS: Cut all its bits off. Send ’em back on the hour every hour. Show them we’re not to be trifled with.

REG: Also, we’re demanding a ten foot mahogany statue of the traitor Van Persie with his little boy hanging out.

LORETTA: What? They’ll never agree to that, Reg.

REG: That’s just a bar– a bargaining counter. And of course, we point out that they bear full responsibility when we chop the chicken up, and that we shall not submit to blackmail!

COMMANDOS: No blackmail!

REG: We’ll have to do it without Giroud because he got a red-card. That’s okay though because he’s shit and would have taken any chance of third we had, and not just from us, from our mates, and from our mates’ mates.

LORETTA: And from our mates’ mates’ mates.

REG: Yeah.

LORETTA: And from our mates’ mates’ mates’ mates.

REG: Yeah. All right, Stan. Don’t labour the point. And what has Giroud ever given us in return?!

XERXES: The equalising penalty against Norwich?

REG: What?

XERXES: The penalty against Norwich.

REG: Oh. Yeah, yeah. He did give us that. Uh, that’s true. Yeah.

COMMANDO #3: And the goal to go ahead.

LORETTA: Oh, yeah, the goal, Reg. Remember what the chances of third looked like then?

REG: Yeah. All right. I’ll grant you the penalty and the goal against Norwich are two things that Giroud has done.

MATTHIAS: And the goal and assist to draw with Liverpool.

REG: Well, yeah. Obviously the Liverpool game. I mean, the Liverpool game goes without saying, doesn’t it? But apart from the Norwich penalty, the goal, and the Liverpool game–

COMMANDO: 17 goals in total in his first season.

XERXES: Link-up play. .

COMMANDOS: Huh? Heh? Huh…

COMMANDO #2: 13 Assists.


REG: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.

COMMANDO #1: And holding the ball up.

COMMANDOS: Oh, yes. Yeah…

FRANCIS: Yeah. Yeah, that’s something we’d really miss, Reg, when Giroud is out. Huh.

COMMANDO: Leading the line.

LORETTA: And it’s worth crossing the ball at times now, Reg.

FRANCIS: Yeah, he certainly knows how to get on the end of a decent cross on the rare occasions they come in. Let’s face it. He’s the only one who could in team like this.

COMMANDOS: Heh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

REG: All right, but apart from the penalty, the goal, Liverpool game, 17 goals, 13 assists, leading the line, holding the ball up, link-up play and a real aerial target, what has Giroud ever done for us?

XERXES: Increased calendar sales

REG: Oh. Calendar sales? Shut up!

Here’s the original:

Clearly that’s a bit of a joke but what is an even bigger joke is that some people actually think it is okay to cheer on one of our players getting red-carded at such a crucial stage of the season.

It is utterly insane to want your team to be a player light going into the last stretch with their Champions League spot mathematically out of their hands.

What sort of clown wants to see us fail? Do people really think that by missing out on the Champions League that all of these “shit” players will leave the club? Do they think they’ll be replaced with Falcao, Hummels and Götze? If so I suggest those people stop smoking crack/popping pills/tabbing acid and throw their copies of FIFA and Football Manager in the bin because clearly their brains are addled.

Arsenal calendar sales go through the roof!

Arsenal calendar sales go through the roof!

Maybe they think it would be the catalyst for the board to sack the manager or maybe even themselves? Regardless of what opinions are held on Wenger by any one person or group they should realise that there is no way the board are ever going to sack him.

Giroud may not be the world-class striker that was dreamed of but 17 goals and 13 assists in 45 games in his first season in England is pretty damned good by any reasonable standard. If those standards are beneath some people I would suggest those people have ironically been spoiled by the players and style of football brought to the club by the man they most likely want to be sacked.

Giroud isn’t Van Persie and he isn’t Bergkamp or Henry but aside from the man we call King he has had a better first season in the league than the other two and better than the last great physical striker import from France, Didier Drogba, who terrorised us on a regular basis.

Olivier may never be as good as these players and may never be a 30 goal a season striker but he is a quality player and deserves a little respect for what he has achieved in his first season in the so-called best league in the world. The step up from Ligue 1 to the EPL is a big one and not everyone can make it but he looks to have done so.

Arsenal may well buy another striker in the summer and there may be some truth in claims that Giroud isn’t good enough to be the first choice striker at Arsenal to take us forward and win trophies again. However, we should be judging him in May, 2014, not January, February, March, April, May etc etc 2013.

Giroud may not be the striker some hoped for but he is the one we have and deserves a little respect and a lot of support. Come next May he may well be the hottest striker in the league and if his first season in England was just him warming up, I for one cannot wait to see what he can do next.

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About "" - 509 Posts

I am a South London born Gooner now living in Leigh-On-Sea, Essex. I'm a husband, daddy, podcaster, trainer enthusiast and aspiring author. My work is my passion and for that I will always be grateful. Here is where I write my thoughts and views on Arsenal Football Club, the greatest team the world has ever seen.

21 Responses to “Goals? Assists? What Has Giroud Ever Done For Arsenal?”

  1. alabamagooner says:

    Monty Python and a gratuitous shot of Giroud’s abs in the same blog. Nice. And so quickly crafted, too.

    “If those standards are beneath some people I would suggest those people have ironically be spoiled by the players and style of football brought to the club by the man they most likely want to be sacked.” Best line of the day.

    Giroud is quality – can’t believe how many refuse to see it. And we are definitely going to miss him during the run-in.

    • Daniel Cowan says:

      Thanks buddy, glad you enjoyed the post, the abs and the lines 🙂

      Sometimes inspiration strikes and you just get the post out there. Today was one of those days 🙂

  2. shottagunna says:

    You absolutely nailed it Daniel. How stupid can “supporters” get. We are going to miss our tireless Big Handsome Frenchman (BFH). We have no replacement and will have to play in a different way which is very risky at this stage of the season.

  3. Kevin Mayers (FB: Eppy Taff) says:

    Brilliantly written again Daniel – and amazing how quickly thought up that all was. I’m in total agreement with you too, as you probably know by know. I like Giroud, I think he’s got a lot of quality and we’ll miss him badly. I just hope not too badly that it matters. Maybe this will be Poldi’s chance to shine through the middle.
    As for all those idiots in on twitter in the aftermath of the match, unbelievable is the one word that springs to mind.

  4. Daniel Cowan says:

    Thanks for the comments so far guys. I really appreciate it and I hope you all become regulars.

  5. Jeremy D says:

    I think you are totally spot on Daniel.
    I’ve pretty much always defenfed Giroud (when it was relevant). I may just explain why though.
    Have a look at our display. Have a look at the way the team is set up in open play. First of all he is too often on his own at the top of the (unrecognizable) 4-3-3. He barely has any presence, he barely has anyone to help him out.
    Nobody has ever tried to understand him. Have you ever seen the amount of tuns Giroud triggers? Insane. Purely insane. But nobody gives a fuck to them.
    Besides that, nobody gives a shit to the second balls. Giroud wins numerous aerial challenges and no other player is ready to crab the ball when it’s back down. That’s because they’re not following him. Cazorla tries, Podolski too sometimes showed some interestest in helping Giroud (and that’s probably the only dash of intelligence this player has).
    To conclude, I think the runs and solutions around him aren’t good enough. Despite that he has some flaws, of course.
    I reckon he tends to give in too rapidly at times. And maybe he should get a bit more involved.

    BUT I insist: what a stupid tackle that was. No need to do that. Even though that never should’ve been a straight red, he had no need to rush into the player that way. We needed 11 men battling to keep that 1-nil lead. However, I think the next 3 games will probably be disastrous on that point of view. We’ll have to cope with……. Walcott/Gervinho or Podolski up front. Wonderful.
    See ya folks, great one yet again Daniel.

  6. Goonercanuck says:

    Nicely done–a dose of sanity in a sea of utter nonsense. Giroud is a fine player, especially given that this is his first season with us and the pressure that comes with having to live up to the goal-scoring heroics of RVP. As you say, let’s judge him in a year or so. The stick he gets from so-called fans beggars belief.

  7. Pat Rice says:

    Dont celebrate him getting sent off just wish he never started. The stats sound good but if you take away his prem goals we would be 2 points less than we have, if you take away Rosicky’s 2 goals we would have 3 poits less, you do the maths. he is slow always caught on his heels and will never be able to go past a player. quite simply he has been a very poor buy and i only pray wenger does not persist with him neaxt year as our first choice striker, we will nothing if he does.

    • Daniel Cowan says:

      1 point, 2 points, 3 points… they’re all important. We finished 1 point above Spurs last year. Important point.

  8. Abhi says:

    Wonderful post. Giroud has top scored in his previous two leagues and thats no mean feat. As Wenger said, we will see his true self next season.

  9. Kevin Mayers (FB: Eppy Taff) says:

    Another point that I neglected to make earlier – I like Andre Marriner as a ref, I was quite pleased with his appointment as the Cup Final official as he’s genuinely one of the better ones. I don’t think he really had a bad game today, far from it in fact. He was close to both incidents that mattered and therefore within his rights to act as he saw fit. I saw his hand going to his pocket for the Sidwell tackle and thought it was going to be a yellow – I was a little surprised, not shocked, just surprised when it was red. Watching the replay I realised the most likely reason was for both feet leaving the floor slightly. So you can imagine the shock when the same card came out for Giroud – a lesser challenge where he did actually touch the ball first, even if it was a needless tackle. That’s why I do wonder, despite what Arsene said, if Arsenal will challenge it or not. I’ve got a a strange feeling they will, for the simple reason that risking losing him for the final 4 games is no worse than losing him for 3 anyway as the damage would be done by the last game of the season – especially with United at home next week.
    I must admit it would be worth the risk in my opinion.

    • Sama says:

      Sama: Forget all this Giroud’s stats,he is completely rubbish.For me he is one of the worst strikers in the world.Let me give u some of his qualities on the pitch: He is too slow for a striker,he can’t handle one-on-one situations with a defender,that means he can’t dribble,he misses so many chances,shows no seriousness in the game,he doesn’t even know how/where to position himself as a striker,even when the ball is given to him he doesn’t know what to do with it so to me he is completely shit.Infact,he is a loser.His red card yesterday is a blessing in disguise,play Walcott in that position he will be better than this loser.

    • Daniel Cowan says:

      Oh dear. You probably lost it long before that but you lost me at “doesn’t know how to position himself”. Just oh dear.

  10. jhc (@JHC42) says:

    Have to give credit where its due, Giroud does take a lot of hit up top challenging for the ball, but still, the stats dont lie… and as an AFC frontman/lone wolf up top, Giroud needs to put it away. Imagine where we would be had Giroud scored vs Sunderland on the first game of the season or that first run of possession vs Chelsea at the Bridge or vs Everton midweek.


    The opta stats above is a little dated, but the stats reflect Giroud’s season so far. Two league goals so far since the Liverpool game at the end of January. Like Diaby, he can be brilliant one minute and daft the next minute. Nevertheless, Giroud is our only recognized natural striker and from looking at his Ligue 1 stats over the years, he has always had a massive second season at his former clubs. I hope the pattern follows suit as a Gooner.

    • Daniel Cowan says:

      I stopped reading that EPL link the moment they said he was bought in to replace RvP. He wasn’t, at least not alone.

      Arsenal brought in Giroud and Podolski to share the goals rather than rely on one player and in their first season they’re doing an admirable job.

    • jhc (@JHC42) says:

      I linked that article not for the story but rather for the stats on Giroud. I hope you actually did open that link to catch the opta table stats and not just judged it based on the headline. And I wholeheartedly agree that both Giroud and Podolski were brought in to share the goals because, less face it, it would probably take two bale’s to replace one judas van persie. As our only really aerial threat in open play, Im supporting Giroud, I really am. But his conversion rate is really poor; there has been so many clear-cut chances missed by him this season, but hey, maybe he will breakthrough next season and make rvp look like adebayor?…

      Anyways, red card or not, whats done is done and we should look forward to finishing the season strong. Who do you think should play as our striker for the next 4 matches?

  11. Sav from Australia says:

    Another quality post!

    I don’t follow Twitter, so I don’t see all the crazies talking about football and sounding like demented circus monkeys…so did not realise people are actually claiming Giroud has had a bad season. They obviously don’t actually watch the football matches and/or are unable to analyse a football match logically.

    Thanks for the funny post to rebutt these twitter negativistas!

  12. Nir says:

    Yes OG is a bit slow and frustrating at times, but he can only get better and his stats shows he is far better than what people (biased commentators and so-called pundits) are trying to make others think of him. We, as a supporter of beloved arsenal, must support him and cheer him every time he plays for us. Wish all fans were educated and loyal!

  13. SweetAFCJane says:

    Brilliant and funny article Daniel – completely agree with Kelly & Shottagunner – even without his goals, assists and great link up play, the haters remind me of all those who were saying “I hope we come 5th or 7th, then maybe they’ll buy some new players/sack Wenger/move back to Highbury/bring in Mourinho/canonise Piers Morgan” or whatever the hell they we’re calling for – how the feck can a true fan abuse their own player (especially when it’s this unjust)? Piss off and support Manure. Thank you Daniel!

  14. Cupsui says:

    I wrote this earlier on another blog and i think it applies here (perhaps even better)…

    “I think he will be that striker (he is not far away already 17 goals in 45 games not bad for a first season player). he is strong enough, his touch is first class, he is probably the best in the air of any forward in the EPL (have you seen his leap).

    I have noticed a change in tactics in the EPL this season, especially the 2nd half and it is something arsenal have been employing a little too. The DM of teams spends a great deal of time covering the lone striker. Generally a lone striker is back to goal receiving the ball from a defender or midfielder. The first touch usually slightly towards their own goal. To counter this DM are dropping back and disrupting this touch (a great tactic if you ask me) and lone strikers are struggling to keep possession as they often have 3 players on them. This is not just happening to Giroud, I have seen it happen to adebeyor, RvP and Torres among others and Arteta has been doing it well at times to our opponents. To counter this we need to use our midfield better and draw the DM back to where he should be…

    Giroud is still adjusting as (name removed) has stated inexperience may have played its role in the missing of his chances. But he has done very well in his first season in the EPL and he is only getting better. A bad game is one thing, it happens to all players, certain Arsenal fans just seem very quick to correlate that to the player being poor (after the norwich game everyone was saying Jack isn’t good enough to be in the side! loco!!). Giroud’s second half against Norwich is one of the main reasons we won that game…

    Thats my opinion anyway”

  15. Steve Carson says:

    Well done, well done and did I happen to mention well done

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